She Came in Through the Bathroom Window

I probably am the worst blogger ever since it's been over three years since my last post. How do you recap three years of changes? Ask someone else because I don't know the answer and I'm not going to attempt to give life updates in a tidy list. No, today's post will focus on a fantastic adventure that I had the other day when I locked myself out of the house and climbed in through the bathroom window. Most of the time I truly feel like I have my life together but on this particular day I'd say unless I wanted to reenact the McCartney (they credit Lennon for the song too but really it was Paul) song from 1969, then for those 15 minutes life was NOT together. 

It was  Monday and per Florida's summer schedule it was a brisk disgustingly sweltering 94 degrees outside. I pulled into the driveway and almost immediately realized I didn't have my house key. I went through the typical emotions: 1) surprise 2) anger 3) hunger (I really wanted lunch!). I texted the maintenance man who has a spare in the hopes that he would rescue me but sadly he was out of town. There is no spare key hidden (I know, I know) and so that left me with two options: 1) Call a locksmith or 2) break into the house. I chose option 2. All of our windows were locked EXCEPT the bathroom window. I had left it unlocked when I bleached the tub. I had enthusiastically cleaned the bathroom and may have overdone it with the Clorox. To prevent myself from blacking out from foaming bathroom cleaner, I opened the window. Later in the afternoon I shut the window but didn't lock it. It's phenomenal that I remembered that detail of not locking the window but failed to remember my house key. 

I went into the backyard, climbed on the A/C unit, used a pen to break the screen and pulled the screen out. I paused to pay homage to McGyver because I'm almost positive there is an episode where he does something similar (probably using a paper clip though instead of a ball point pen). I then thought for a few more seconds on a few other early '90's television shows--Young Riders, anyone?--but snapped back to reality when I heard the foster dog barking from inside. Side note: If you want to adopt a wonderfully lovable 12 year old dog (hey, age is just a number!) let me know! He's super well behaved and with a bit more training should be able to unlock doors. Once I had the window open I had to jump into it but things got complicated because the window is high on the wall and there's nothing below it but a bathtub (a clean one though!). I pulled on the curtain rod to see if it would hold my weight but it immediately fell down and thus ended my plan to swing into the bathroom like Tarzan. At this point half of my body is in the window and in the bathroom and the other half (my legs and the denim shorts that fit fine when I'm not scaling houses but tend to get short very quickly when climbing is involved) is sticking outside of the window. It was landscaping day in the neighborhood and while the backyard has a nice privacy fence I was high enough to where the entire street could see this. Shoutout to everyone for not rushing to my aid, this was a true skill building adventure. The only way that I could get through the window completely would be to make it where I could reach the bathtub side and get enough of my torso on it to let my legs fall. I needed to do this without breaking my neck. I pulled one leg completely through the window and stuck my shoe into the window track. I then slowly lowered myself so that I was flat against the wall and brought my other leg in and stuck that foot into the window track. Now that my feet were stabilized and I was hanging like a graceful gymnast from her bars during an Olympic routine (kidding, I probably looked like a roadkill possum hanging from a tree) I was able to grab the side of the tub and quickly whip my feet in. I fell in a heap on top of lots of toddler bath toys. 

I write this post because I think social media makes it seem as if we all have our lives together. While for the most part I can handle significant responsibilities there are also times when I blank and leave my house key in buildings that are 25 minutes away. No one likes to admit that part of life but here I am in all my glory reminding you that it happens to all of us. 

Being a lawyer is about being a problem solver so I want to thank my three years of law school and almost five years of practice for teaching me how to solve problems, specifically problems that require ball point pens and some nice core strength. 

Rise Up, Lady Lawyers

Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. I put people in jail. It’s a pretty solid gig. However, I’m a twenty-something girl with long hair, a somewhat fit body, and what some would call a semi-attractive face, so do you think I get taken seriously in the legal profession? Not always. 

Oh my sweet friend, it is a MAN’S world. I’m reminded of that every time I get called, “young lady” or referred to as “hot” right before some guy asks at the podium for me to drop his case.

I’ve decided, ladies, it’s time to change things. It’s time to band together and show the legal world, nay the professional world, that we can wear pink nail polish, gloss our lips, yet still stand on our own…AND in four-inch pumps. We shouldn’t have to sacrifice our feminine attributes just to be taken seriously in the courtroom. Oh no, in this ole’ boys club, I’m ready to shake things up. I’m ready to whip their tails in trial, then chase my victory down with some white wine and a manicure. Even though it's 2014, it still feels like women are supposed to be charming, smile a lot, and laugh at the men’s jokes. I’m charming as hell, but if your joke aint’ funny? I ain’t laughing.

It’s difficult enough balancing life: work, family, friends, gym, sleep…but to have to throw in “proving your worth”? That’s too much. Let’s change this. That’s what this blog is about. A place for all you lady lawyers to know that you’re not alone. To know that others out there embarrass themselves at the podium, research the wrong cases, get not-guilty verdicts, and question their every move. However, with all that on our plate the last thing we need is to be worrying about finding our place in this man’s world. Oh no, our time is now.

If you think that it’s an equal playing ground for men and women, then I hate to say it, but you’re more wrong than Scalia is in most of his opinions (kidding. Kind of.).

So share this post but more importantly, share the attitude. Share the message. Rise up.

Put your favorite heels on and strut your stuff. Just don’t forget your statute book.

I Should Be At The Gym

I should be at the gym right now. Instead, I'm in gym clothes but I'm laying down awkwardly typing on the computer. It's awkward because it's quite difficult to properly type while laying down. I'm doing it though, I'm moving mountains. 

However, I'm not going to beat myself over not going because quite frankly, I go a lot and I LOVE it. I do. It's such an amazing stress reliever and I really enjoy the gym I attend. But not going this one day will not make me obese. It won't even make me pudgy. It will just inspire me to go tomorrow. 

Anyway, you aren't here to read about my gym habits. Besides, if you work with me you hear about them anyway!

Onto the important things: my airbrush makeup machine. Holy Toledo, it is amazing. I am so happy that I purchased it and my face has never looked so, well, like I know how to apply makeup on it! It takes roughly five to eight minutes to apply and now that I have the hang of it, it's quite simple. My makeup lasts all day. It lasts through morning court, lunchtime, running up and down floors of the courthouse, rain showers and afternoon chores at the house. It even lasted through my five minute rant on why I don't like Chipotle (you wanna' hear about it? I'll happily blog about it). My skin is so soft and it washes off so easily at night. If you are a professional woman and you want to look put-together, I highly encourage this. You can adjust the level of heaviness/coverage that you want; so, for work you can do a light spray, but for fancy dinners with your main squeeze, you can increase the spray and get a heavier coverage. Bellato should really give me some sort of gift because I will be talking up this machine for a LONG time. I promise you ladies (and even you men...maybe?) it's an incredible purchase. Let me know if you have any questions!

Other than that, nothing too new to report. Kyle and I are attending a Domestic Violence Battery Seminar this week. I enjoy seminars and am looking forward to learning things that will benefit my caseload. I am also looking forward to having two free outfit days, meaning I can wear business casual clothing and not suits. Key word? Casual. 

Kyle is participating in a golf tournament this weekend where the goal is not to hit the shortest drive; I believe in him and I know that he will NOT be the worst golfer there. I'm supportive, what can I say?

Some goals I have for this week/weekend: --clean my car --work on my project --get a hair trim --save the world. 

Oh! One FINAL thing: as of September 30th, I am the new secretary for Florida Boxer Rescue. I am thrilled and honored to be entering this new phase in my life and can't wait to give more to this organization. More to follow on that new challenge!

Well, party people, this working gal is off to make dinner, do some laundry and relax. 


Keep reaching for the stars!

This was me trying to tell everyone to reach for the stars; but I hit the wrong button on the computer and it took 4 pictures instead of one. You can see some of the confusion. The graphics are amazing though. Top notch!

Single White Female! Waaaaait...

My dear husband is out of town for the whole week at a DUI seminar (how to try DUI's, not get pulled over for one) and so begins the longest period of time that we have ever been apart since being together.

What will I do with this time? Where will I go? Who will I talk to? Well my faithful followers, I have compiled a list of what I plan on doing this week in his absence.

1) Sing loudly to show tunes. Yes, I will be playing music from classics such as, "Chicago", "Guys & Dolls", "Showboat" and "The OC" (wait, that's not a classic..). I may or may not incorporate dance moves into this concert; it depends on if I've eaten recently because I really don't fancy a tummy ache.

2) Watch several episodes of "Friends". Kyle doesn't really care for Friends and to me it's almost as influential in my life as eyebrow waxing so I will relish in this sacred time I have to watch it. I have the entire series (I spent my money on really important things in college) and am currently on episode eight. Eight of like a million. 

3) Clean up after myself...and then not have to clean up after anyone else. This one gives me goosebumps. I love Kyle, no doubt about it, he's just the cat's pajamas, however, my sweet soul mate just can't seem to master the concept of picking things up from the floor or cleaning up things in the kitchen. He's smart so I'm quite confident that he can acquire these skills but for these five days I will delight in coming home to a house exactly as I left it. Just this afternoon I walked in and there it was: a clean, beautiful house with everything exactly as I had left it at 7:30am.

4) Work. This happens no matter who is here or who isn't here. I will type on my computer and scowl at the screen. 

5) Back out of the garage without looking in my rear view mirror. This one is actually false BUT if I could do this, I'd be ecstatic. I forgot that Kyle and Joe were taking one of the office cars to Orlando and for a brief moment I envisioned my driveway, free and clear, just beckoning for me to irresponsibly whip my SUV out of the garage. Now I not only have Kyle's car in the driveway, but also Joe's and so I have to be extra careful. Blah.

6) Eat cereal for dinner. There's a box of gluten-free cinnamon Chex in the pantry and an unopened carton of almond milk in the fridge. Mama's hit the jackpot.

7) Wake up 25 minutes earlier to take the pups out. This is self explanatory and sad. 

8) Run. I do this when Kyle is here but now I'll be running with a husband whose out of town. See the difference? No? I really didn't either.

9) Send pics of myself to my friends on snapchat. Usually I send my peeps random pics of Kyle reading comics or waving but this week I have to fly solo. 

Aaaannnnddd...

10) Appreciate my husband. Roughly eight seconds after he left I began to miss him and it made me realize how awesome he is. This is a revelation that I have at least once a day anyway, but now that he's gone it's occurring to me every hour how much I love him. 
Leave it to a DUI seminar to turn me into a sap. 

What will Tuesday bring me as a temporary bachelorette?

Meltdown

It has been FOUR months since I last posted; I may be the worst blogger on the planet. Literally.

Lots has happened, the ebb and flow of life continues on: marriages, deaths, vet visits, shopping outings, date nights, funny cases, annoying cases, just LOTS of cases, and so on but life is good. It always is, even when the curveballs get thrown at you. 

I cannot believe that it is September! Kyle and I kicked off the month by spending a gorgeous 5 days in Maine. My parents have a second home there and we flew up to join them. We ate lobster, kayaked, hiked, shopped, relaxed, laughed, laughed more, drank wine, laughed, did puzzles, and just enjoyed the beautiful area that we were lucky to be at. It's fun that my parents are not only, well, my parents, but also a few of our best friends. 

I bought an airbrush make-up machine. I'm not sure if I should admit that to people, but I bought it and now this is out in the open. As I always tell the Bailiff that's in my division at work, "it's hard being a professional woman!" and so anything that makes my life simpler is welcomed. This machine is supposed to make your skin look flawless and the make-up is actually SO much better for you. It's all natural, and has no chemicals or harsh products in it. Even better? It's cruelty free. Yay animals! It also is supposed to be quick and easy to use. This could go two ways: fabulously, in which case I look like a porcelain doll and my skin glows OR terribly, in which case I look like Bobo the clown and people laugh. Let's hope for the former...

Kyle is doing well and has a few new goals: to buy a bow and arrow and to buy a golf-cart that he can drive on the sidewalk to Linkster's, the bar down the street. He also wants to publish his research paper. We aim high here in the McNeal household! 

My goal is to get on here once a week and update. I know the four people that read this are probably so curious and need week-to-week updates; I will not disappoint you my faithful followers.

Oh, one last thing: I had a meltdown last night over the series finale of the Secret Life of the American Teenager. There were tears. And I threw myself down on the ground like a Southern belle on a sweltering day in the 1800's. 

My 27th birthday over the summer did nothing for my maturity level. 

Catholicism, Esquires & Bumpers

And so it is, that I let another 3 months slip by before writing; and what an amazing three months it has been at that!

In a mere three months Kyle and I have become Catholic (I know!) and licensed attorneys (an even bigger I KNOW!)!

Life is going quite smoothly (except for yesterday when I um, "bumped" into Kyle's car in the driveway...) and I couldn't ask for more.

So, let's get updated: the whole Catholic thing...

Religion and faith have always been very important to me. I will never push it on anyone but when asked, I will happily divulge my thoughts and my beliefs. When Kyle and I began dating, he never went to Church. It isn't that he was a "non-believer", he just didn't think about it much. I prayed a lot about how to approach this, and my answer from God was just to not do anything differently, just witness through my devotion. As months went by, Kyle would see me reading my devotional, reading the Bible, praying and never wavering in my faith. Eventually, we began talking about Church and he expressed an interest in Catholicism. I have always been very intrigued by the Catholic church, two of my close friends growing up were Catholic and I would frequent church with them. In high-school, my boyfriend was Catholic and I would go to church with his family. I have always felt comfortable and so I told Kyle, "why not? let's try going to church at a Catholic church and see if you like it". We began attending Saint Joseph's in downtown Lakeland. After a few services Kyle mentioned that he'd like to learn more. I had happened to see a flyer while we were at mass one evening about 'R.C.I.A.'--the flyer stated that if you were interested in the Catholic church to attend an informational meeting. So we did. It just so happened that classes were beginning for the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA) into the Catholic Church. In order to be confirmed in the church as an adult, you must attend classes for 8 months and participate in the various 'Rites' of the church. It was perfect timing. The class is only held once a year, from September-April and we had just so happened to call before the first class. God's timing is always perfect. Every Sunday we attended class, and some weeks we had to be at the church 2-3 evenings. It was an amazing journey and the more I learned about the Catholic church, the more at home I felt. There are so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about the church and the values and principles the church teach are really love and Jesus. The evening before Easter, there was a beautiful service and Kyle was baptized Christian and confirmed Catholic and I was confirmed Catholic (I was baptized at the age of 6). It was so special. I am so proud to be Catholic and am so grateful for Saint Joseph's and all of the people there that helped us through our journey. Our families were there which was very special and one of my closest friends growing up, Gina Caprara (now Olsen!) drove from Tampa to come and watch! I will never forget that evening and I'm forever grateful to God for bringing Kyle into my life; through Kyle my faith has strengthened.

The McNeal's, Esquires:  We got sworn in on Wednesday, April 17th. Kyle and I were able to take our oaths together and in front of several of our peers and families, we held up our right hands and pledged to be honorable attorneys. That is a day that I will never forget! So many people from our work came to watch and I had tears in my eyes as I walked into the courtroom and saw and felt all of the love and support. I have the BEST job in the world and everyday I wake up and make a promise to be the best lawyer I can. I am now officially Victoria Hall-McNeal, Esquire. Feels pretty flipping amazing...and to accomplish this with my best friend? Ever more amazing.

I have had a heavy heart this past week because of the turmoil and pain in Boston but I stand firm in my belief that there are more good people in this world than evil. Our country is a wonderful place and will always stand resilient. I am SO proud to be American.

My nephew continues to grow, my parents continue to renovate their Maine house, my dogs continue to eat things they shouldn't and wake up tooooo early, and life moves along, quite wonderfully, actually. Until next time!

Kyle with his business cards

Taking the oath!

Photo shoot in Admin

Whoops!

Two Months in a FLASH!

Wow. Two whole months (and a few days) have flown by since my last post! So much has happened, so here is a list to catch my faithful audience up:

I became an Aunt ("Tia Tori") to the most *beautiful* baby boy in the GALAXY! Austin Charles Hall ("Charlie) was born on October 30th, 2012 and is perfect. I am so proud to be related to this munchkin and I love his precious parents, Austin & Ale, just as much. 

November was a blur of of holidays; first we had Veterans Day off so we traveled that weekend up to Ponte Vedra to meet the aforementioned cutest baby ever, and it was such a wonderful time. Ale's whoooole family was visiting from Mexico and have I written about how amazing they are? Well, they are incredible. I always wanted a sister and now I have four: Allie, Melissa, Ale, and Arantxa. Here we all are (minus Jay-Babe but he's there in spirit), including Luis, their brother and now mi hermano!

Along came Thanksgiving; we traveled again, this time spending some time in Ormond Beach with Kyle's family and then heading to the Hall Compound in Saint A. Ormond was a wonderful time because I got to meet Cousin Mike for the first time (and spend more time with Cousins Amanda and Jen) and within roughly eight seconds it was as if Mike and I had known each other forever. We bowled, drank, hung out by the fire, and I fell asleep really early one night, but hey, a good time was had by all! I unfortunately don't have pictures from Thanksgiving but I'll make up for it with Christmas pics!

Ok, so then December rolled around and it was, of course, wonderful. December is just the most magical month ever, but it did start out a little rocky. Why you ask? (Don't you love the color change?) ...Because I caught  PNEUMONIA. For the first time since 10th grade I completely lost my voice! I was out of work for an entire week and was told that my recovery time was quick compared to others...well it didn't feel quick. You know how wonderful it sounds to lay around on the couch and nap and watch Christmas movies? Well (here's that fancy color change again!), when you're sick it's miserable. Kyle would come home from work and tell me all the fun things he did or what weird thing took place at lunch and I'd just sit there like "I dribbled Gatorade down my chin this afternoon...it was fantastic". I felt so unproductive but was too uncomfortable to do anything. I've never had pneumonia but it gave me a big appreciation for those that suffer with asthma and other chest/lung ailments. My ribs hurt from the infection in my lungs! Yuck. However, I am alll better now and was able to celebrate in Christmas style. Luckily, a week before I got sick we had put up Christmas decorations so I was able to marinade in the magic while being a sickling.

Kyle loved that we had TWO trees this year! He was able to put up and string lights on two separate trees. It was certainly magical for him. The above tree was in our formal living room. 

This bigger tree was in our "family room" and I loved laying on the couch (or on the floor with the pups) watching the fire and enjoying the lights.  Thank you dear husband for the fantastic decorating!

As the month went on we attended a few Christmas parties:

Here we are as we head out to our boss, Stacie's (and her husband's) Christmas party. 

At another wonderful Christmas party...all the ladies with their new purses!

Secret Santa gifts!

What did we get??

 My dear friend, Kate, announced her pregnancy in a very subdued and private manner:

My daddy and I want the names to either be: James for a boy or Victoria for a girl! Two solid British names.

I gave our precious pup, Clarence, kisses for his 2nd anniversary (December 9th!) with us!

"I really would prefer some food..."

The best part of December? My whole family came to celebrate with US in Lakeland! It was my first year hosting and it was so special. Jason spent the 23rd with us and then went home Christmas Eve afternoon, Mom and Daddy arrived the 23rd and left the 26th and Austin, Ale, Charlie, and Ale's mom, Alma, arrived Christmas Eve and left the 26th. 

Christmas Day morning with two amazing men!

Self timer!

These gorgeous people celebrated Christmas in style! Still going strong, my Tita and Gramp. 

This Holiday season was filled with family, love, laughter, Christmas classics ('It's A Wonderful Life, of course!) and the incredible reminder that we celebrate Christmas because of the precious birth of our Savior. As Linus says in the beloved Peanuts classic: "...and that's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown".

Kyle and I rang in the new year sitting around a fire pit with the wonderful people that we have been blessed to meet in Lakeland. We toasted each other, made s'mores, I may or may not have been teased a time or two, and we both savored the company that we were surrounded by.

Each year keeps getting better. They all have their road bumps but I am ever amazed with where life has taken us and every day I wake up with a smile, grateful to be alive.

Cheers to you and yours and may 2013 be your best year yet!